Little Human
Raise
the blinds
As he grows.
Into a man.
Boy.
How Things Change
The curls upon your head….
The waves and sleepy dreads…
They’re golden in the sun
And silky to the touch.
The way your little smile
Lights a little fire
In my heart….
It should be impossible…
But it’s not.
I woke up from the sound
I had a dream today
It startled me awake
In it, I saw my father again.
His face was contorted,
His eyes were closed.
I could feel his shock and his pain.
All dressed in black, his hair combed back,
one arm was stuck suspended.
Reaching for his heart
But also stretching to the ground.
His legs were buckling
breaking, falling down…
His other arm was linked to my Mother’s.
Elbow to Elbow.
Toe to Toe.
They both looked so scared.
They both weren’t prepared.
That’s when I heard the sound…
That yearning, guttural plea…
The sound of panic, fear, and loss.
The sound of breaking tethers.
One word, one syllable, one long drawn breath.
that ended in forever.
It echoed through time and distance.
It rattled me in my soul.
“Joooooohhhhhhhnnnn”
My mother yelled so loud.
Not wanting to let go.
But her other arm, was linked to stone.
Long lines of statues that looked like men.
Anchoring her, holding her up,
Not able to hold onto him.
No matter how hard she tried to keep him.
No matter how long she said his name.
The earth, the sun, the room, and I,
Knew he would not stay.
And right before he hit the ground.
He stopped existing at all.
Poof
His body, his face, his shock, his pain
It all just went away.
There were no ashes.
No plumes of dust.
Just empty, solid ground.
Above it, a woman screaming.
Reaching for blank air.
So many souls were weeping.
One soul stuck still screaming.
I woke up from the sound.
Smile
It’s a funny thing….
People…
The way we feel.
How we communicate.
The way our bodies wiggle.
The way we tease and taunt one another.
The way we spend our time.
Seduced by things that make us hot….
Those that we desire.
We smite the ones who boil our blood.
The ones who’ve made mistakes.
Jealous, bitter, rabid, judging
Wanting to “Give em a taste”
A taste of what?
Of Justice?
Of Love?
A taste of truth
And then…
Serve it with a side of
Anger and smite.
Wash it down with some rumors and spin.
So close to foaming from our mouths.
But far enough away to smile.
Our teeth bared in beautiful crescents.
Do You Believe?
Eternal darkness
Traded for eternal youth.
Exchanging reality and pleasure
For a promised truth
Does one know
What this world really holds?
Is there a world
Beyond our own?
Not one of sustenance, depth, and death,
But a place of faith, truth and breath.
Is it crazy to believe
In things that one cannot see?
Or is it simply crazier,
To have no beliefs?
Love
How do you know when something is true?
Loyalty – I’ve never had a more loyal friend – a more loyal lover – than you.
Honesty – We’ve always been honest – even when it hurts. Even when we don’t mean it a little while later.
Legitimacy – we both have our feelings that are perfectly fair. We also created legitimate heirs together.
Without Deviation – we’ve stayed the course for so many long fought years. Years full of moments and memories – laughter and tears.
Reality – We live together – day in and day out. My life would be nothing if I didn’t have you or our house, or our family, our friends. We are so lucky, so blessed.
Restored – After every fight, you have so much grace. You have such forgiveness. I want to be the same for you. You restore me and I restore you.
Tell Me
I know that things can get dark.
That’s just life’s winding road.
Keep your head up –
And smile because you know…
You know that in the desert –
Beneath the scorching sun –
When you’ve walked forever and feel exhausted,
When you feel all alone.
I am right here.
Inside your heart.
Please,
Breathe and believe in love.
Don’t let the pressures of this world
harden up your heart.
Let me build a door inside the wall
You’ve built up so tall.
So when you’re in the deepest dark…
I can find you.
Let yourself rest upon me.
Let me carry some of the load.
You don’t even have to ask me
Because when I look at you, I know.
I know when you are sad.
And I know when you are angry.
I know when you are happy….
I miss the happy you lately.
I miss your tender hugs and kisses.
I miss your funny laugh.
So let me in.
Trust me again.
I don’t judge you for your sins.
I will be gentle,
and mindful of your heart.
Please don’t wall up so much
anymore.
Please come and rest with me.
It’s okay to close your eyes.
It’s okay to express with me –
The words welling up inside.
It’s also okay, to sit in silence.
Don’t be worried about time.
Because here with you is where I want to be.
You have my patience and my kindness.
I love you for who you are –
Who you were –
And who you will be.
I will do whatever it takes.
To help tear down the brick between us.
The wall that I helped build.
Forgive me – I have forgiven you
For the past, for the present, and even the things that we will do.
Let me carry you.
Let me hold your hand.
Let me whisper in your ear.
Let me be your strength when you can’t stand.
Let me take the steering wheel.
Let me guide us to success…
You’ve been running for so long.
Stop and take a breath.
Listen to a song.
Let me do the dishes.
Let me cook some dinners too.
Let me say “Good Morning Honey,”
Let me fix our rotting wood.
Let me love you.
Let me in.
Let me be the one.
Mail Call
Mailboxes
Lining one side of the road.
So.
Charming.
So.
Cute.
And classically dear.
Until you get a ticket for jaywalking,
My dear.
How Life Goes
Intensity changes day to day.
Patterns predict.
Learn yours to keep safe.
Asshole
Sadness, sorrow, sarcasm, and strife
Are all of the things that you focus your life.
And not only do you wallow in your own gloom,
You try to drag others down with you too!
The happy, the fortunate, the people that care,
All become targets for your hateful snare.
You choose not to see the damage you cause…
Or maybe you just don’t care…
Or maybe you just don’t see…
Or maybe you’re not the asshole
Maybe the asshole is me.
Say It
Say it with me
If you can…
I triple dog dare you.
Don’t wuss out now.
Say it loud with people around.
Or do it alone – don’t be too proud.
Sing it in a skit, or a dance, a jig.
Make a picture, draw a comic –
Do nothing else with it.
Only say it with me,
Now, if you can…
One Time.
Right Now.
Black Lives Matter.
Brown Lives Too.
Blue Lives, yes, ALL Lives
should matter to you.
Now that we are ALL on the same page.
Black Lives Matter.
Period.
Is that okay?
Did you say it out loud too?
If not, here’s a second chance –
I’m going to say it again –
Say it loud with me.
Black Lives Matter.
I am so proud.
Because you said it – there is love in you now.
Because your life, yes, it matters too.
So write on your sign, whatever you want.
We are all marching to the exact same song.
Some of us are just a little ahead – some are listening to metal or Led.
The truth of the matter is – it is time to fight.
Its time to stand up and demand our inalienable rights.
So, does your life matter to you?
What about all lives?
The red, white, and blue?
Black Lives Matter – Yes – It is true.
So lets stand up for reform – it’s quite easy to do.
We need lawmakers to be lawmakers.
And Politicians to be true.
Don’t give up – your life is counting on you.
Don’t blow like a snoflake, through this storm.
Only to melt as soon as the weather gets warm.
Stand like a stone – a foundation of rock.
Believe with your soul – believe with your heart.
Believe Black Lives Matter.
Believe that is true.
Yes – I believe – Don’t you?
Don’t you?
The Gardner
The Rosy blossoms begin to fade
Withering and dying more each day
It teases the Gardner with new life
But gives him nothing for his strife.
It sucks up his water, his time, his love.
It laughs at his efforts and turns them to mud.
Not once,
Not twice,
Not even three times!
But four has it made the poor Gardner cry.
Until at last
He’s had enough.
He refuses to fall for the pretty plants bluff.
And although he loves it,
He won’t give to it’s pleas.
For the Gardner now knows, it’s mearly a weed.
What I’m Trying to Say is…
Sometimes I feel walled up like a cube…
Well maybe more like a walled up blob…
A blob fish?
A Bob fish?
A popped corn on the cob?
What I’m trying to say….
If you let me explain…
I’ve had shelters in place since before we became
a couple.
A duo.
An item.
A pair.
A boyfriend, a girlfriend.
Afiancied.
Soon to wed.
And I know I’m not always easy to find.
And I’m not always fair.
And I’m not always kind.
I’m a terrible duster.
And perhaps worst of all –
It’s hard to apologize
When we’ve had a great fall.
So let me say “I’m sorry” now.
And let me promise and make this vow.
I’ll continue to love you – until the end of time.
And then I’ll get more time borrowed.
I’ll always recognize your soul.
And I trust you’ll recognize mine.
Because the beauty we create together….
It will tether us through time.
Tethered through our dreams as well.
We will rest and come to peace,
with the dangers of the world together.
Living through nightmares.
Sailing treacherous seas.
Whatever adventure is needed.
In my dreams – I will keep you.
And in my heart you are the one.
Please in your heart, keep my dreams
And forever keep love.
Refuse to Sink or Drown
Waves like buildings pull me under the tide.
I’m drowning myself, but from the inside.
I can’t break free from this torent of pain.
I’m going to die – it’s impossible to escape.
The air
Is there
But I
Can’t breath
My eyes are
Are open
But I
Can’t see
Panic ensues
I try to fight
To expell the darkness
To reclaim my light
But the sea is cold.
So cold and wet…
I focus on that touch instead.
Focus on the icy pricks
Needling into exposed skin.
Focus on the lung bursting waves
And ride them to the surface.
Savor each breath as it comes.
Look upwards towards the sun.
Escaping is not an option.
Refuse to sink or drown.
Never Alone
Life keeps going – time continues forward. There will be moments of pain. There will be moments of happiness – confusion – regret.
It sometimes feels unfair – cold – unbearable.
But life also seems to follow some unknown pattern.
Karma – Faith – Light – The Path.
Hang on to your experiences and learn from them.
Strengthen yourself.
Sharpen yourself.
Forgive yourself.
Love yourself.
Love others.
You are never alone.